The Adrenaline Runs Quick When The Queen Enters

Oh, hay there, lurk readers

2007-12-15T02:30:41Z

Chloe was embarrassed by an aspect of my last entry so I promised to make it friends only, awwww.

woe woe woe to be lurk kiss,

XX

!!!! how can it be so long since I've posted?

2007-12-05T15:13:35Z

Maybe you would like to know that I put a snack pack of popcorn in the microwave and hit the regular popcorn time while thinking to myself, You just have to stay on top of it. As soon as the popping slows, hit stop and voila! Immediately,I walked away and became absorbed in reading over my written piece for the photography book project I am involved with. Yep. Didn't think of it again until the house was full of smoke. After opening windows,I poked at the bag. The popcorn had been cremated to charcoal. When I dropped olivia off to preschool, I explained what happened to the teachers and blamed chloe! I didn't mean to :( it just came out of my mouth. I didn't know I could lie like that! OH! told another one! lol

My whole house, my hair, my clothes and my babies stink like campfire kiss,

XX

PS< I am going to a work Christmas Party! Whoohoo! I am that loser employee who loves her job and makes everyone else puke. Yay me!

I know you read me, bb...

2007-11-15T17:43:10Z

!!! I got my weekly street interview gig! yayay

This morning, I covered a "coffee time" meeting. It was nice: entertainment, speakers, creative showcase. After getting my pix (as they say in the paper biz ;) and stories I scanned the group for candidates for next week's question. A lady smiled at me and I introduced myself, explained what I was doing and she cut me off excited-

"My husband told me all about it. you asked him on tuesday. I said to him, Why wouldn't you do it for that nice girl?"

!!! AH! small towns -kill- me.

I laughed through my startled feeling (lol) and asked her if she'd participate. She beamed and said, "Yes, but don't make me fat." I assured her she'd look gorgeous. She loved her picture. she laughed and said "I should get you to do all my photos!" then she called over her friend. I got her friend too. then she called over to her friend "I'm going to be in the paper!" so I got her friend and her baby, too. another couple happened by I got them.

fabulous am.

and now I am off to my hair appointment -with- olivia. It was their suggestion as they know olivia to be a good girl (a-hahahaha j/k) and I'm armed with snacks, dvd player and My Little Ponies.

let me tell YOU, internet kiss,

XX

If you smile while walking along wearing a cute 3/4 trench at 9am...

2007-11-14T05:56:01Z

After giving me a great mini-story, he braced himself for the head and shoulders shot. "You look handsome." I said with a warm tone in my voice, a bright smile on my face, purposefully using words and face to encourage him to comply. The first couple had declined, this gentleman had already given me quote, a head-shot would close my first deal. "You should have seen me in my navel uniform 61 years ago." he said. " I was--" he nodded "something then. You would have liked..." as if realising what he was about to say he tapered off with a mumble and shy look. awww! for some reason (dare I say old man attraction! I felt something, there was a flash of chemistry as I remembered he likely felt way younger than he looked) my impulse was to prove him a romantic-interest sort-of man. I flashed him eyes in the seconds of recovery after his almost admission, then we smiled as I said, "Oh who didn't look better before? you should have seen me ten years ago." haha then we parted ways fast lol.

And to all the pretty women who talked to me and were photographed and chatted me off, later, when I was done, and to the cute worker guys who kept happening across me (downtown is sooo small) and flirted with goofy-happy-nice-day-fun, thank you so much, I had a wonderful morning.

Today, almost all the men enjoyed talking with me, not many would consent to be photographed. Vital, sexual beings eager to talk with me but wanting to look better (it was like 930am on downtown streets old retired men, moms with toddlers,and workers are all that's about. hah another observation). The women were easier to convince. I told them they were all beautiful, I promised to take a good photo and show them.

people either inwardly roll their eyes at your cheer (I could sense it! lol and on other mornings have sent it off) or they smile back kiss,

XX

sometimes taking chances works

2007-11-12T21:49:21Z

My work is part-time, I wanted a niche. I needed it to be small, regular and different enough to be bought. I was reminded of weekly street interview piece my old home-town paper had- it's fun, fabulous, easy, interesting and possible, a perfect little base. I proposed and waited and waited, did my little jobs and guess what? Tomorrow I try out my idea and if it works out it could evolve into, as my editor put it, "just what you asked for".

remember that, Miss Lori, next time you feel uneasy about taking them kiss,

XX

PS< lol I changed my home-page layout. I'm totally inept which leaves me helpless and dependent (mmmmrrr). For one thing I wouldn't have a waste-paper graphic... feel free to imagine it out. hehe jesus.

well, if BLUEMAN is going to link me

2007-11-08T19:07:13Z

I still love things that sparkle. Out at shops the other day I saw these capri length footless tights: black base with silver stars and brown base with bronze hearts. I wanted both! I said to myself "Lori!!! Even though you've come to treasure tights under skirts, these fun, darling prints are not for you! You KNOW that is too short. you will be cold. The length is unflattering. Even -if- you manage to find something in the same tone it will -still- break up the legline and look awful. You might manage to wear them in the odd pair of boots... and you don't own those boots. STOP. STOP. Yes, you could wear them as pajamas but why? you have great night stuff, everything from flannel to vintage glam to southern belle on a hot steamy night- you don't need these!!!!" and somehow I own them.

Guess what? I'm a part-time event photographer/reporter for the community paper a couple of towns over. I love my job. I love being paid to take pictures and write.

here is me working.

I think the green cast shows off my hot. hehe

I'd better dust off the display case kiss,

XX

PS< I really need to choose another background and stuff.
PPS< all you other flist post slackers: Now is the time to post entries! VIVA teh PRODIGAL.
PPPS< OK. Yes, I have had the job since late august and am only getting around to telling you now. Don't be angry. I know we've been off and on for ages, I am Returning to You. Rejoice.

Okay, I admit it...

2007-09-14T05:27:58Z

I just read and post all over your journals

and never write a damn entry of my own kiss,

XX

sun-ripened...

2007-08-01T10:41:53Z

It was the second, or maybe the third early morning of the late June day. The first was for commuters to Toronto, some of them left by 5am which was the time for Chloe's first feeding. The second early morning was after she'd fall back asleep, I'd pick up a book and read. The third was after nine, the time when local workers had to be at their jobs. In the quiet moments between lifestyles I'd set my pretty pretty baby into her stroller and walk deserted streets.

I always chose Central Park Blvd because there were bends in the road (for interest) and lots of trees. I laugh at how I thought of the trees, city-girl desperate for forest, how sparse they were, how much distance between each thin trunk.

The tomato garden caught my imagination. It took up the entire yard. It was like the gardens downtown, those small wartime plots on Dovercourt, each front yard a kitchen garden. But we weren't in Toronto, so here among the manicured grasses was a piece of other, I was enchanted.

I had seen the old couple out there puttering, third early morning wasn't the only time of day I walked the streets. I was walking because my body made me unhappy. I like my bones coated with curves but I like them firm, strong with underlying muscle. Having had a May baby all my flesh was loose, sagging, foreign on my body, something to be gathered up and cut off. But, I promised not to be morbid. and so I walked. and as walking is it was very nice.

One walk you appeared, a welcome sight with tanned skin and lean muscles, your dark curling hair, the sidelook, the smile, my god, Italy, Portugal, Greece... within days we were exchanging words. I still remember the first ones "Out taking your baby for your daily walk?" I remember the way you looked at me, as if I was most beautiful. One day I stopped and we talked. One day you walked with me. One of our last days we sat in the park.

There was nothing untoward, unless you count our skin humming in anticipation of contact, or our smiles, or our eyes. Unless you count what didn't happen.

today's colours brought you to mind kiss,

XX

fucked girl...

2007-07-27T13:36:11Z

Since my 17th birthday I have been regularly fucked. I just turned 37 so that makes 20 years of continual penetration into my body. I have had my throat, vagina, and ass fucked. My breasts, face and clit have been comed on. I have been fucked against walls, on stairs, in bathrooms, in public, outside, in water, on the back-seat of cars. Each and every time i have been fucked , it is me who has been fucked, I am the one pounded open. Even dominant, even thrusting my hips, even on top, I am the one. I have fucked you to the ground, I have owned you so I understand possessive terms, I understand when you cry out, "You are MINE."

I have had very few instances of bad sex.

(although, that last time with you, that time when I refused to imagine the blanks of our relationship, when I didn't pick up your emotional slack the fucking sucked.)

I know I am submitting when I am being fucked, I feel it inside of me, but I haven't yet, fully considered what the constant action of giving up my body, allowing it to be possessed and pounded has done to me.

I love the pleasure of sex, I have thoroughly investigated the pleasure of sex. why have I been so reluctant to examine the impact, the consequences of being violated (even the word makes me moan).

By violate, I don't mean I didn't give consent. Through my life I have been very much in power when deciding who I will fuck, and thus have had very few partners. I mean violation in the physical sense, in having been opened,

my body opened for use kiss,

XX

Oh no she didn't...

2007-04-26T11:17:49Z

What half-dressed, smut-peddler wasn't satisfied keeping her semi-naked self limited to the internetz? That's right, one of the flickr babes has allowed her image to be printed on paper and hung up all over town. Click the link to see which brazen trollop it is

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kini/471238072/

pinned up in portugal kiss,

XX

There was a firey glint in Rachel's eyes...

2007-04-20T14:08:30Z

Cripes. I have SO many things to say. I think I have them all stuck in my throat because it has been so long since I wrote. TOP OF THE LIST, after this, is a gossip entry for my pandaboy because he is <3

Anyway, I just have to get this off my chest (off where? oh-hoho). I am working hard on my wee story, it is a formal format instead of strung together images and words so

...

yeah, like structure and grammar and formality

...

are my strong points

A-hahahaha

so I decide to re-read one the crap stories they publish, and huff, splutter, gag GAWD. It is very poorly done. The first SIX para are narration, the piece has a rather bad case of adverbitis, eyes glow, characters shoot looks, characters "replied", "protested", "suddenly" do things etc etc

Oh those those bitches better publish my romance.

"What?" I asked warily kiss,

XX

refusing quiet dignity...

2007-03-09T22:36:28Z

you knew it was coming, you were warned, it has been explained to you that I am aware of your innocence.
and yet

I remember New Year's Eve, a real estate party and a lover of three years. I was ironing a skirt to wear, sexy little stockings, he came up behind me and tugged my panties, pretty black satin cast aside for warm dampening pink. Mmm, yes, a deep hard fucking. Me, spread and bent, a sort of erotic endurance, my body liked it, my brain was giving over, my heart didn't budge. So, yeah, it didn't really hurt so much when he played out the rest of the evening. and yet...

"Is that what you're wearing?"
"Yeah, why, a black skirt, a black top, what's wrong with black, lots of women will be dressed like this."
static blah blah filler until the moment
"Nice girls would have a proper dress."

So yeah, I took that gut punch, I took it, I took it and remained quiet with dignity, stunned with dignity, hurt with dignity.

I should have kicked him in the fucking face.

so... there it is. I feel pinpricks of rage at your admiration of "quiet dignity" because I want to scream and shout and rub skin against cement.

I understand quiet dignity isn't all you admire. the two love women in your life are very strong. You also admire Julianne moore's character screaming at the drug store clerk

I know

just saying.

These strange things happen all the time kiss,

XX

Be my Valentine

2007-02-14T14:22:32Z

or I will peck out your eyes kiss,

XX

oh, look, two in one day...

2007-02-13T14:45:03Z

I've been invited to contribute a photograph of my town toward an exhibit in Eutin, Germany celebrating 750 years of Eutin.

I know some people have issues giving away art for free, but hells, I am freaking thrilled to be asked to participate. Plus i am down with the concept of street art so yeah... anyway I am not a professional, have I said I am excited?

Oh yeah, uh-huh, who's your mommy kiss,

XX

she said, hey babe...

2007-02-13T12:12:25Z

Oh, yay for new friends, and old friends coming around, and friends in new skins. I adore you guys, i really do. I've been with most of you for quite a few years, you guys are my peeps lol.

HAPPY LOVE MONTH!!!

My family (me included) have been sick for aaaages. this past week being rather deathly with virus and I got lax with flickr posting (photo a day diary thing) I took photos but OMG they suck. lol. This past week excempted, the photo thing has improved me. Not so much in technical ways as I haven't had much time but in some way... A-hem in a very special undefined improvement sort of way.

OMG so remember a couple of years ago when I decided to skip working and write instead? Remember how I started winning and placing and receiving honourable mentions for pretty much everything I submitted? Remember how I got pregnant with olivia and sick and tired and I took time off from writing which lasted pretty much until this past october (exempting an interview piece I did with Katie West. which, I think it is interesting to note, I will resubmit the interview when I have never resubmitted anything I have done- ever. but there it is she rocks and I suck at promotion. I also suck at fundraising, by the way, I just don't like asking people for stuff.)? Remember how I decided there was room in the lucrative romance writing market (newly expanded at harlequin to include more literary works)? Well, I have been working on stuff. I have one piece almost ready to submit. I get anxious about it, but I vow to send it off by feb's end. I have a second piece, a longer short story that needs a bit of work and is currently shelved to ripen.

Oh god, I shamble on and on but what I am announcing is this: In march I start writing my first novel. I am doing it in similar format as the november write a novel in a month, but a bit less stress, a bit longer time-frame. This isn't something I want to do occasionally; therefore, I need to find a way to make it work for me and my family continuously, not just one month of hell for everyone then back to normal.

I know how I will be working web presence for my novel, and I will be super freaking cool. I will need a web designer but I am getting ahead of myself. still, I think harlequin people will be impressed with my ideas.

Speaking of ideas I have the best freaking idea for a photo-book ever. Unfortunately I don't have the skill to pull it off. But, I will, so I am keeping mum on it for now hehe if it all comes together I will be made rich from japanese businessmen. a-hem. it ain't just erotica, baby, it is erotica with a brilliant twist.

There's me, pretty much caught up and I haven't mentioned the children. They are darling, angels with the sweetest hearts, they are full of love. When they are sick they are bitchy just like their parents :)

come sit with me awhile kiss,

XX

So, yeah, I should be taking a photograph...

2007-01-10T04:11:22Z

I love the dark stained wood of the dresser in the back-ground. My grandpa, and great uncle and great grand-dads built most of their furniture for lots of years. I have three pieces. One was given to me, about 15 years ago I gave my brother $60 and a replacement piece, and I took my dad's when I moved out. total score.

Chloe was given a little beech rocking chair. My great uncle cut down the wood from a tree planted on one of the farms by his dad and made my baby a rocker.

I love old things, people I've known a long time... and you kiss,

XX

PS< Catharine Mackinnon makes me smile, "I think it’s hard for some people—especially people with power—to think more than one thought at a time."

Oh, oh, oh...

2007-01-04T15:24:41Z

what are these???

that's right covet all you want kiss,

XX

PS< Okay I will elaborate: they are the cutest, most form-fitting sneaker ever, they have little flower cut-outs, you can wear them with jeans or casual skirts, even some dresses. They are comfortable and you can kick a soccer ball with them (all important to us moms... it isn't just a rumour).

Serving it...

2007-01-03T15:18:54Z

Last year, I predicted I would be published. Not on the strength of my own writing (though I am grooving it, baby) but on the charm of an interview Katie West gave me. Gawd, a mag lingered over it for ages, then asked for more material and a resend, held onto the material for five months! Then didn't bother to answer my query as to status. LOL fuckers. However, I believe in Katie (diosa_en_disfra on LJ) and her work and I have a brand new concept, proposal, and a lucky lucky magazine that will receive the submission. yay!
I had meant for the photo to show more of her work, but I only got three hours sleep last night and it looks like I will be short again tonight so the session had to end.

This year I am going to be published, and next year I am going to receive a contract, the year after I will be mobbed on my signing tour, the year after I will be Queen of the World kiss,

XX

PS< Yeah, I'm a dork. ggl gawd.

Is there life on stars...

2007-01-02T19:43:08Z

Yes, yes, I know I am terrible at keeping in touch. It's that cycle thing, introvert to hermit, I've gone on and on and on about *LOL* Interesting to me is that I am quite the social darling. Anyway, as I have exercises I do for writing and acting, I decided to add a push toward my photoging. How does this effect you? Well, I have agreed to create a 365 photo diary on flickr and I am going to be posting some of the pics (or maybe all... I am winging it LOL) here! possibly with eXtra commentary. I know, I know, it is just I am the kind of girl to grant wishes and y'all wished for more of me I JUST KNOW IT!

There are many nights I prowl the house eager to be alone and creating something... anything.

He's in the best selling show kiss,

XX

PS> HADDAYR I couldn't find a pic of my mary-jane sneakers online (and I bloody well looked) so I'll just have to take a snapshot so you don't go around telling people I tell lies to one-up on the internets. gglggl

just scattered moments...

2006-11-14T12:40:58Z

Last week was one of those just-barely-enough-money weeks, one of eggs and pumpkin muffins made from scratch. I re-learned what it is like to be saving 2 hard boiled eggs as a treat for your children. I learned of the fear of not being able to send your child to school because there isn't enough food to make a lunch with (didn't actually happen but I know the fear). It wasn't hard for me to imagine the fear of not having the paycheck waiting mere days away.

On Friday, payday, I decided to pick Chloe up from school for a lunch treat. They diner had pizza slices ready so we grabbed one to share between the three of us while our order was being made. Olivia ate her share in sections, first the pepperoni, then the cheese... This young man I kinda know walks in. He kinda creeps me out. I used to work for his mother at the worst job I ever had, the kind of job you come home and cry. Filthy, skimpy, bad run daycare (she promised me it would change "I've so many plans, lori, don't leave..." then when i found out it was lies, I needed the money). He had rooms in the basement so he could be around his mom, he has a slight mental disability. I saw his rooms, they were filthy, even more disgusting that the rotten ick of the upstairs. just fucking foul. yeah, so back to the diner, I was with my beautiful girls, and of course he knew me... it's been 5 years since I worked those horrible months and ... ech. I remind myself to be compassionate as I am bracing myself for his approach. You know. fuck. But, he icks me badly ... he would do things like hold children a bit too long when they wanted to get away from his hugs, and I would complain and his mother would keep him away for awhile. There was so much to complain about at that place- the heating bills that first winter were fierce I had to stay until May.

Okay. so yeah he comes in and says hello... etc I yeah yeah and look away as much as possible without being a total snotbag. Of course he knows everybody, he's too old for school, he wanders town.. eats cheese sandwiches in this diner couple times a week I imagine, so he talks to other people.

Then this boy in chloe's class comes in, he has it rough. labeled a bad kid, foster care, sibling risk history... he asks chloe if she got picked up for lunch or if she was suspended... he's a cute, bright, wants to please kid... it's real sad.

SIGH

So young man says to kid (who is suspended from school) "You're a bad kid." and kid agrees. There's not a lot you can do in these situations, I just speak up and do the best I can. maybe a word or two will stick, kids do respond to me, they like me... So I said he was a good kid, I reminded him I wasn't making it up, that I've talked to him lots of times, I reminded him of the story he wanted to write, how he rides his bike in the summer. I reminded him I knew him then told him I liked him and he was a good kid. He said he was stupid. I was fierce and direct "you are not." I glance over to the woman with them she's at the counter a few feet away, she says nothing... there are two other girls with this kid... they are looking at me (chloe is used to her mother, olivia is eating) Young man says to kid, "Yeah, at least you're not like your brother."

Fucking hell. This young man practically lived in a daycare facility that took in a lot of skimped on kids... poor kids, system kids, his mother is a professional foster care emergency parent. note the emergency aspect. the same level of care is not required in emergency situations, I saw lots of those kids in the 6 months I worked- they told me stuff, nothing abusive but nothing warm, and nothing nice.

So yeah, he knows these kids and I was fucking pissed because I knew Peter too, and he fell in love with me, and he was a good kid, and he wanted to please, he needed attention, he had anger in him, he had issues, he didn't have anything solid and he was six years old. Well, that was only one reason I cried and only one reason I quit and to have it all brought back made me very sad but it was also immediate and who were those two girls? and they were listening too

and I said "I liked him. I liked your brother very much. I hope he knows how great he is."

They have no idea what to say and the girls are looking at me and I am trying to gather myself and these kids and their lives

and Young Man says to me "You must get cold wearing that skirt."

Oh vomit

I look up and over and he's staring at my cunt, and I wished to cross my legs but they already were and I wanted to cross them again but I didn't move. I said, "No." and venom

and he said you will in a few months. and looked me in the eye!

I did look nice, it was a fab fall day, I was loving the knee highs, and yes, I do dress for cute, I don't mind looks, smiles, hellos, all of that is wonderful and comes from both sexes and makes me feel good.

he is strange because he doesn't know enough to mask his earthy yearning, he doesn't pick up social cues, and he is a little too interested in himself. Holding those children too long, telling them it's okay while he held them tighter and they cried, "down down"... I don't like him. But I kinda feel bad about it.

In case you are wondering I did mention his existence to the licensing representative. It's all a bunch a bullshit, that place passed health and menu inspections too.

long-winded LJ style kiss,

XX

It's all about sex, baby...

2006-11-06T11:18:24Z

*****WARNING*****

TOO*****MUCH*****INFORMATION*****STOP*****READING*****NOW!!!

I have a sweet pair girl panties in transparent pink edged in Easter green. I was going to slip them on and make passionate love to myself. Mmm, I fuck myself in as many ways as one would fuck a lover-quick, fast, dirty, hard, soft, lingering, lingering, lingering. Hmmmph. Unfortunately, I got my period (I thought I had one more day *sad face*) Oh, I fuck myself on my period (sometimes I can't help it for arousal, other times as a pleasurable way to ease cramps) HOWEVER the sweet accessory (darling babygirl) was out. SULK.

I hate my period, I hate being bloated, crampy, hormonal, bloody, bloody, bloody. Since I am through having babies I would like it to stop. Grrrrr the annoying thing is the same hormones giving me moon-blood give me a flush of pink to my skin and mouth and I really like that. Grrrrr. I think the pink is advertising my fertility. Quite alot about me advertises babies, thick strong hair, round thighs, tummy, ass, blood circulating, hips- I have an aura that whispers, "fuck me I bear you babies."

This sex-peak-30-something-thing is smack on for me. I wonder if it is my biological siren call. Mate me... Mate me. You can prob tell I've always been pretty sexy. By 13 I had made thorough use of my dad's girlie mag collection, been caught by my gran and mother, written the most porn frigging passages in a notebook that got read (and other things besides!)- Seriously, my mom wanted to send me to boot camp hehe (thank you daddy! for being sane) because of my pervy nature. Mmm, but Jesus Christ, I can come like a boy now... I couldn't do that ten years ago. That's awesome. but yeah, girl orgasms are better. Sorry, guys, the urge you have, that all consuming, back arching pleasure surge... does not compare to the waves of woman body sparkles. Have I said that before?

OH! I remember sweet pink and white old ladies. Okay, nevermind I am through with my fertility crisis. I want to be a pink old lady wearing little girl skirts and cotton gloves. ggls OMG.

Now there's a comeback post kiss,

XX

I know, I know, I don't post forever...

2006-10-27T14:36:17Z

then paste an article. Oh but...

October 16, 2006
NY Times Op-Ed Columnist
Why Aren’t We Shocked?
By BOB HERBERT

“Who needs a brain when you have these?”
— message on an Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt for young women

In the recent shootings at an Amish schoolhouse in rural Pennsylvania and a large public high school in Colorado, the killers went out of their way to separate the girls from the boys, and then deliberately attacked only the girls.

Ten girls were shot and five killed at the Amish school. One girl was killed and a number of others were molested in the Colorado attack.

In the widespread coverage that followed these crimes, very little was made of the fact that only girls were targeted. Imagine if a gunman had gone into a school, separated the kids up on the basis of race or religion, and then shot only the black kids. Or only the white kids. Or only the Jews.

There would have been thunderous outrage. The country would have first recoiled in horror, and then mobilized in an effort to eradicate that kind of murderous bigotry. There would have been calls for action and reflection. And the attack would have been seen for what it really was: a hate crime.

None of that occurred because these were just girls, and we have become so accustomed to living in a society saturated with misogyny that violence against females is more or less to be expected. Stories about the rape, murder and mutilation of women and girls are staples of the news, as familiar to us as weather forecasts. The startling aspect of the Pennsylvania attack was that this terrible thing happened at a school in Amish country, not that it happened to girls.

The disrespectful, degrading, contemptuous treatment of women is so pervasive and so mainstream that it has just about lost its ability to shock. Guys at sporting events and other public venues have shown no qualms about raising an insistent chant to nearby women to show their breasts. An ad for a major long-distance telephone carrier shows three apparently naked women holding a billing statement from a competitor. The text asks, “When was the last time you got screwed?”

An ad for Clinique moisturizing lotion shows a woman’s face with the lotion spattered across it to simulate the climactic shot of a porn video.

We have a problem. Staggering amounts of violence are unleashed on women every day, and there is no escaping the fact that in the most sensational stories, large segments of the population are titillated by that violence. We’ve been watching the sexualized image of the murdered 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey for 10 years. JonBenet is dead. Her mother is dead. And we’re still watching the video of this poor child prancing in lipstick and high heels.

What have we learned since then? That there’s big money to be made from thongs, spandex tops and sexy makeovers for little girls. In a misogynistic culture, it’s never too early to drill into the minds of girls that what really matters is their appearance and their ability to please men sexually.

A girl or woman is sexually assaulted every couple of minutes or so in the U.S. The number of seriously battered wives and girlfriends is far beyond the ability of any agency to count. We’re all implicated in this carnage because the relentless violence against women and girls is linked at its core to the wider society’s casual willingness to dehumanize women and girls, to see them first and foremost as sexual vessels — objects — and never, ever as the equals of men.

“Once you dehumanize somebody, everything is possible,” said Taina Bien-Aimé, executive director of the women’s advocacy group Equality Now.

That was never clearer than in some of the extreme forms of pornography that have spread like nuclear waste across mainstream America. Forget the embarrassed, inhibited raincoat crowd of the old days. Now Mr. Solid Citizen can come home, log on to this $7 billion mega-industry and get his kicks watching real women being beaten and sexually assaulted on Web sites with names like “Ravished Bride” and “Rough Sex — Where Whores Get Owned.”

Then, of course, there’s gangsta rap, and the video games where the players themselves get to maul and molest women, the rise of pimp culture (the Academy Award-winning song this year was “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp”), and on and on.

You’re deluded if you think this is all about fun and games. It’s all part of a devastating continuum of misogyny that at its farthest extreme touches down in places like the one-room Amish schoolhouse in normally quiet Nickel Mines, Pa.

but BOB HERBERT warmed me kiss,

XX

PS< nicked from feminist.

gls OMG

2006-09-23T19:28:51Z

I am such a honey, I can't help it. I (ggls the key... hee!) Oh fuck, it's hard to play LJ with kids running loose.

I stress the "honey". Don't debate me.

I'm not even going to let you comment kiss,

XX

girl of mine...

2006-09-23T14:27:25Z

gentle, sweet, beautiful dreams
you can't forget

you own the key kiss,

XX

Oh, hell, no time for a title...

2006-09-20T18:51:14Z

Maybe I don't write here because I am writing every day in cramped amounts of time? There's only so much I am willing to give? I hoard myself... ggls Lucky you!

***Livia is in nursery school from about 9am until 11:15am. Oh, she cries when I leave and only has a so-so time there, it is her fifth day today :( But she has some fun, she paints and reads stories and they've great toys, and playgrounds, the teachers are nice. She loves school when I am there. When I arrive I see her interest in her environment, she participates. Oh, my Olivia... she is stubborn, would rather do those things with mommy. Oh, sweet baby, mommy needs a little time to write. I am a base animal type mommy... there is that sort of primitive closeness, I miss her. I am a much better mommy with this time. Less stress, more sleep, less time with baby, but still lots and of tender quality. I walk right out when she cries for her mommy. I do. Oh the first day she screamed in rage. Mmm my baby. But I walk away because I have to, poor little baby, she will be fine, but I cry too. at these bonds between us... she's little to begin growing up. Things were different for chloe, she got nursery school with me teaching in the same room. Livia, livia, livia my baby. I love her better (not more or less), everything is better knowing I have that bit of time.

*** I have an application to volunteer for Women in Crisis. I'm sick with so much of the world, I feel helpless surrounded by humanity's ick. I saw a poster. I called the number and the woman I spoke with asked if I would be interested in a speaking role. Seriously. Out of the blue, I didn't say anything about anything, I think she was attracted to the voice (baby). I think I said, "Ummm." I am classy that way. It just feels right. A path I should take. A few days later I read over the application. There are questions about feminism, classism, and racism. I think I throbbed (hehe Have I mentioned I love being in my sexual prime?)and just like real seXing, I'm not sure I have the time. Four hours a week minimum.... Gawd Damn.

There's livia waking,
I want to talk about a flickr thing

soon soon kiss,

XX