Though I am not one to usually go into detail about why something is offensive I will today. It isn't because I don't think you can pick it out yourself or in an effort to force you to know, but rather as a small homage to the feminists who do blog in detail, who take the time to write beautiful essays, who don't take anti-fem crap from anyone, who continue on even though incidents to write about never seem to die down while jackasses abound. If they can do it time and again I can do it once in awhile, though mine will not be beautiful as I find it a hard topic to write about.
Hell yes we are back to http://www.flickr.com/photos/merkley/199162306/in/photostream?#comment72157594218345786
Hang her ass on the christmas tree- oh even to type it pisses me off. Would he say that to her in person? It reduces her from a woman into a bit of candy that can be decorative on an evergreen. He didn't ask if she would find that a nice thing to be, he just took her beauty and used it to be more of a man. But why oh why should I be upset? Women are used to being seen as accessories, most of us take it in stride, some of us feel complimented- at least my ass is hot enough to be hung on a christmas tree. Well, I don't, I think it is worth speaking up for as it is part of the problem in our society, women are toys to be arranged as men see fit. UM NO.
"chinadoll" is also offensive, I didn't bring it up because language and meaning are slippery and I have seen too many wriggle through. She is not a fucking fetish. She may not be chinese. The chinadoll fetish is flush with images of tiny subservient women who cater to men, little dolls all dressed and perfumed. It is belittling.
When melovescookies complained she did it rather clearly but OH FUCK do they both miss the point (as evidenced to the smarmy man on man self loving in subsequent paragraphs. A comment is deleted, in it monitor pop degrades cookies, posts pictures of her and mocks her. SUPER. once again a woman's voice, a complaint about being objectified, is counterattacked by her looks.
Instead of addressing the issue the photographer tells them both to behave as if in sunday school. Right. So the girl with the valid complaint in lumped in with naughty children. Very fine.
Monitorpop comes back and by way of a faux apology says he should have said she was pretty. OH FUCK OFF! again the message is reduced to how goodlooking the fem speaker is, he should have said she was pretty because then she would ... what? forget he was a pig?
So, I say my piece to the photographer. By the time I wrote it I was upset by his lack of action. I explained what happened, and then informed him of how he could use his position to help make the world a bit nicer for the women in it. You know, the women he takes pictures of, his female contacts, every woman. It is easy, men ask Oh what can I do? You can use the fact your voice carries more weight by standing by women, backing them up and shutting down sexism. He could have shot his mouth off in the right direction, he could have provided guidance for the people reading his comments. he could have said You can't hang her ass on the christmas tree jerkface because it isn't your ass, shape up or get off my stream.
But he didn't. he took me to task instead. Saying the ass on the tree comment was fine after two women told him it isn't. OH how fucking fab for you Mr. Man to be able to decide what is offensive to women. He used to caps to state the obvious, she has stripes like a candy-cane- DUMBASS that is not the problem, the problem is he hung her ass on the christmas tree. He also admits his clueless by saying he thought the two were continuing a discussion from somewhere else. Well, if there is something you don't know, and another person has explained it to you, maybe you could give it some thought? Um no. no. Because HE doesn't see anything wrong then nothing is wrong.
Ggls His bit about not deleting her ass-fuck comment made me giggle, he didn't want to delete it because he got to post a photo from it. OH well as long as everything is peachy for you. Did he address why she gave him an ass-fuck comment? Nope.
Giggles, I LOVE feminists, I posted the exchange on fem-rage and got some wonderful comments back. One of them went like this, "Don't you love it when all they can come up with in reply is Shut Up! You Suck! Nice going genius."
So instead the ego-bloated photographer who takes pictures of women got to put a woman down instead of educating a man. How will rape culture be stopped? By those in power using it to help those with less. Groovy. He has had some positive responses to his rant at me, one man even said he was cooler than ever!! super.
Then monitorpop came back around and pleaded confusion- How can he be accused of objectifying her when she has clothes on? He has heard lots worse comments than the one he left!! He has a wife and has NOTHING AGAINST WOMEN -oh how darling of you. Then he says he didn't realise cookies was pissed because he was derogatory, he thought it was because his compliment was unimaginative. CRIPES!! lots of people mentioned candy-cane, did she post a strap on to them? NO.
OH his last comment has me boiling COOKIES may have taken his comment wrong. Right right of course she did, it couldn't be you are ignorant, could it? No, no, wouldn't want to disturb the mens.
then they group hug, delight in how pleasant they are, how weird I am, and life is tres bliss.
It is worth noting monitorpop almost apologised, then borne up by the photographers comment retracted it.
thanks for nothing asshole.
I suppose I could have mentioned all the things I thought were nice about photog before explaining what he did as opposed to what he could have done, but I have read his words, he is very abrasive and straight forward, I didn't think he'd be such an enormous infant as to need to be coddled before I pointed out how he could help.
Well, goes to show what has been said often in fem circles is rather true, "Asking nice got me shit."
I find there is a value in education, I have had men and women write me with how they have adjusted their views, that gives me hope. Hope that fuckwads cannot be allowed to take away.
The photographer displayed how he truly feels about women. He likes them fine as long as they know their place. step out of line, and bam. He has very little true respect for women, his models, his contacts.
some fem comments:
I thought your comment to him was really well-articulated, and his whiney, over-defensive response took my by surprise. But I guess that's what sexist douchebag asshats are like.
Seriously. Gotta love that one. "You're hysterical and illogical for trying to call me out on my shit! I'm defensive and guilty so I'm turning it on you!"
Wow. That guy shouldn't be photographing women if he doesn't get that. Just...damn.
Total. Fuckwit. I'm sure he passes for funny in some universe, but...Christ.
From his flippant and insulting replies to you, it is obvious that Merkley has absolutely no respect for his models, his female readers, or women in general.
What a fucking asshole.
I need some more vocal, take-no-shit feminists on my friends list. To that end I have added ginmar
she is amazing, I admire her very much, and plan on quoting her (yes, have received permission) within my journal.
I am going to be much stronger on my own flickr, I all ready do some but I could strengthen my stance and will.
so much for the nice guy kiss,
PS< Some of you will remember I had an LJ blow-out with an old friend regarding women, and how he spoke of them while putting forth his thoughts on child support. He would like to be friends again, and though I think he has misunderstood the cause of my anger... and other things, I will be writing him back because I do have hope. I do, and he tries.
PPS< yes, it has been tres hot, here is a photo of my feminist self sweating ggls enjoy my slick!
PPPS_ Oh yeah.. photog paraphrased my last comment to him instead of pasting it like he did my longer one. He wrote I said I didn't want to be friends anymore. I didn;'t write that, I find his alteration of my words to be further belittling, isn't that just like a fickle girl not wanting to be friends? what I did write was this, "You don't get it. I'll be happy to leave your stream. Thank you for your reply." what an ass.